Relationship secrets: recovering from a break-up

The reality is break-ups can be brutal – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Grieving a loss is never easy. The good news is break-ups force you to grow, to find your strength, and to learn to be self-reliant. Here are a few tips to support you through this process.

Feel your feelings

There’s no way around it when it comes to healing from a break-up, you’ve got to feel your feelings. Journal your rages, share your pain with supporters, and, most importantly, take time to cry. Give yourself plenty of space to feel the anger, regret, and sadness of this loss because the longer you postpone these feelings the longer it takes to heal. Remember to give yourself heaps of credit during this part of the process because actually experiencing the intensity of these difficult emotions takes courage.

Stop looking to your ex for validation

We all want validation – that feeling of being right, good, and accepted. It can be a habit to look to your ex for the validation she/he used to provide. But, during a break-up, your ex isn’t going to see things the way you do. Stop looking to him or her to do so. Part of the growing process of a break-up is learning how to validate yourself.

Be on your own side

Some of the pain of breaking up is that feeling that you’ve lost an ally. You miss being around someone with whom you feel loved, interesting, and good about yourself. Now is the time to decide to be these things for yourself. Be your own ally. Say loving and positive things to yourself. Laugh at your own jokes. Treat yourself like royalty. Focus on your strengths and believe that you are a good person that deserves the best.

Find ways to be gentle

Our inner critic tends to be most active when we feel vulnerable, and, chances are, much slander is already flying your way during a break-up. It’s easy to buy into these internal and external criticisms and get down on yourself. The last thing you need right now is to beat yourself up. Find ways to be especially gentle with yourself and give yourself lots of support. Remember, there’s a difference between acknowledging your mistakes versus beating yourself over the head with them.

The urge to reconnect

Sometimes the pain seems so overwhelming that you might convince yourself that connecting with your ex will take the pain away. Be prepared to deal with this impulse. Before picking up the phone or sending that e-mail, have a list of ten activities and ten people to call before you attempt to reconnect with your ex. It is difficult to heal from a break-up until you really let that person go.

Look for ways to heal your heart

Seek out techniques that help you feel strong and positive. Check out the ideas listed below for inspiration.

– Read books and watch movies about strong, courageous people.

– Create a list of your wonderful qualities and post it on the bathroom mirror.

– Buy yourself a new sex toy.

– Take a yoga class.

– Try a new hairstyle

– Get plenty of hugs from those you love.

An abundance of healing methods is out there to assist you in the grieving process. Find the best one for yourself and enjoy life!

8 effective tricks to save on Christmas holiday shopping

Holidays are an Achilles heel in terms of shopping for most of the people. We love buying gifts for other people, even when we truly cannot afford to buy them. That is the problem.

We love decorating for Christmas. That is the second problem with our budget.

Most of us love all the holiday food and do a lot more cooking and baking than at any other time of year. That is the third problem.

x-mas shopping

We adore sales abound during the holiday season. That is a lot of spending!

Lastly, we comb the circulars, Black Friday ads, sale pages of the internet (of which there are infinite), and with all of that exposure to “stuff”, we’re need all kinds of things. Things that are very easy to rationalize purchasing when we are already purchasing so much. We do not experience this at any other time of year. Here are some strategies this year to keep yourself on track.

Establish a per-person budget

You can establish a maximum dollar amount that will be spent on each member of the family. The problem is all of those impulses buys that you see when shopping “Oh, wouldn’t this be great for so-and-so?”. The plan is to make a couple of “no spending” trips to both exorcise the shopping demon and get a comprehensive plan together.

Early decorating

You definitely have last year’s stocks of Christmas decorations lying in your attic or closet. Take them out and go through so that you know what kind of holidays decoration you have. This has the added benefit of making you feel like you do not need to impulsively purchase all the cutesy woodsy holiday stuff that you will encounter when shopping.

Use up all wrapping materials

Some years you ended up buying more rather than working with what you had, didn’t you? Not this year! No new gift wraps and colorful bags of ribbons until you use old stocks. The bad news is that this does mean not waiting until the last minute to wrap.

No new special occasion clothing

If you rarely dig in the back of your closet for clothes, then you often get new stuff when presented with a special occasion. Did you enjoy a shiny new outfit for the office holiday party? Sadly, it is a silly way to spend your money. The good news is that some stuff in the back of your closet has not seen the light of day in years, so no one will recognize it.


Most of you have a gifting station in your house. Occasionally, you receive a gift from some lovely, well-meaning person that is not useful for you and you keep it for years. Maybe you also pick up the occasional bargain throughout the year or encounter free swag. Giving those out this year! But try to keep track of who gave you what so as not to re-gift back to the same person. It is a lifesaver and a money saver. Most of those items that were gifts given to you were very dearly appreciated – more than once, actually.

Speaking of after Christmas sales

The sales are so good after Christmas that they can be a useful tool for saving money later in the year. Take advantage of them. But this year you should establish an appropriate amount of money that will be dedicated to doing so and making a list of the sorts of things you will be buying. Heading to the sales without a list or a finite budget is akin to throwing money into a hole from which it may never return.

No credit card Christmas

It means, no interest will be paid at any time for any of your purchases. Your vow is to keep your spending within the limit of what you can actually pay for right now. Honestly, the dumbest thing you could do is rack up a bunch of debt and then crunch yourself in the new year trying to pay it off. No way!

Cut back elsewhere

You could try to be more conservative with your meal choices and cut back on dining out, just through holidays. It is hard to avoid a meal out when you are tromping around malls and department stores all evening after work, but avoiding it simply requires planning.

Essential oils as a way to relieve psoriatic arthritis

Often, the use of drugs and maintaining appropriate lifestyle changes help to improve the lives of those who have the disease of psoriatic arthritis, which causes:

  1. Inflammation of the joints.
  2. Painful sensations.
  3. Deterioration of the general state of health and mood.

Aforesaid symptoms can be alleviated by the usage of essential oils, which can be used both for external use and as aromatherapy.

You can try different essential oils if you suffer from the disease of psoriatic arthritis, and observe which of them will have the most beneficial effect on you. This article lists several essential oils that may be beneficial to you.

Lavender essential oil

Inflammatory processes occur in the body of people with psoriatic arthritis. This can lead to joint pain and negatively affects the mood. Lavender essential oil is able to significantly reduce the manifestation of these symptoms and return you to a good mood.

Ginger essential oil

The effectiveness of this type of essential oil in inflammatory processes in the body was proven in laboratory studies 3 years ago. Thus, according to research, ginger essential oil helps to reduce inflammation and swelling of the joints with its regular use.

Eucalyptus essential oil

This type of oil is widely used for medical purposes to relieve the symptoms of various respiratory diseases. It also has a positive effect on the presence of inflammation and pain in the human body. The beneficial properties of eucalyptus essential oil have been proven in laboratory studies.

Bergamot essential oil

This type of essential oil has a positive effect on mood by reducing joint pain and inflammatory processes in the human body. This essential oil has a pleasant aroma characteristic of all citrus fruits.

Turmeric essential oil

This type of essential oil has an effective soothing and anti-inflammatory effect on the human body. Turmeric has various forms of release from seasonings to essential oils.

Cinnamon essential oil

Natural cinnamon has high anti-inflammatory properties. This has been established in clinical studies. Thus, the use of cinnamon in the form of spices or essential oil will have a positive effect on the body and reduce the inflammatory processes in it.

Distinctive features of essential oils

It is necessary to know the origin of essential oils and what are their distinctive features before you start using them.

Essential oils are highly concentrated oils of various plants. That is why you should carefully apply them, especially if you are going to apply them to the skin. It is necessary to dilute them.

Essential oils are additional medical therapy. They are used in combination with the main drugs against psoriatic arthritis to enhance their effects on the human body. However, it should be remembered that you need to be careful when using them. Remember that:

  1. There are no medical recommendations regarding the doses and methods of application of essential oils.
  2. Essential oils entering the trading network are not subject to control by the Food and Drug Administration.
  3. Essential oils may cause an allergic reaction.

Methods of use

Essential oils can be applied in a variety of ways. However, remember that it is impossible not in any case to swallow them. The following are the main methods of use of essential oils:

  1. Inhalation of essential oil vapours.
  2. Use in combination with body lotions and other products that can be diluted with essential oils.
  3. Dilution with basic oils and rubbing them into the skin.